Looking at men in the 21st century, I know many will not settle for a relationship without sex. It doesn’t mean this trend doesn’t exist anymore but those who practice this are seen as strange or unreasonable.
The idea of writing this article is not to condemn people but to lay bare the struggle that people go through as a result of the over liberalisation of our sexuality.
In the past, Africa has had this moral principle of ‘NO SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE’ entrenched in her culture. Those who broke this principle were punished severely and in extreme cases banished. Women who kept this law were seen as their families pride and were celebrated.
This trend is however fading really fast. Some men right from the beginning would want to set the records straight even before the relationship starts. I said some men because for some reasons, women seem to be the dominant players of the card-NO SEX before marriage.
Some men would initially agree to their partner’s wish but would eventually get their partners into breaking this principle of having sex before marriage. To the women who despite modernity, want to keep a sex free relationship, I suggest you put your cards on the table at the onset of your new relationship with your partners before investing too heavily.
Friends of mine (men and women) have shared experiences which are very unpleasant -sexually, emotionally and sometimes describe the mental pain of rejection they go through when their partners aren’t completely open about their stance on premarital sex.
Many men do not understand why their fellow men would want to dedicate their whole life to a woman faithfully—without prior notice or taste of what they should expect.
Like one of my friends said ‘who wants to buy a car with all his life savings without test driving it’? I don’t agree with this statement because love and relationship is not all about sex; sex can wait. (That’s my thought anyway)
In fact, I am yet to meet a man who holds this principle so precious to his heart, to the extent that he will deny responses when visited in bed by a fine woman set to ‘rock his world.’
I totally support NO SEX before marriage doctrine because all the arguments I’ve heard in support of premarital sex make little sense and the arguments are not tangible enough. I however respect other people’s decision; it’s their life and their choice.
But I’m mostly insulted by the proponents of premarital sex. Some make you feel odd and out of place when they find out your stance in this. They mostly say that women who say NO to premarital SEX have not met the person who can pull down their panties yet.
Sex in the right context like marriage is beautiful, premarital sex clouds your judgment. When you sleep with someone without understanding their moral values and character you are set for failure in your relationship. Nine times out of ten the relationship ends prematurely after premarital sex, or there is additional strain.
A guy I know personally got extremely offended when his partner who has had many or countless sexual partners in the past decided to put such activities on hold. He feels tortured as her partner told him to ‘put a ring on it’ before he goes down. When he complained to me, I was in a fix and didn’t know who to side with. He thought the woman no longer liked him.
I keep this ‘moral’ principle not because of my affiliation with Christianity or my parents or even because I’m an African. It’s something I have resolved to do.
But let me ask you this: where do you stand when it comes to PREMATURE SEX?