Dear Friend,
I refuse to be part of your wedding committee. I got your invitation card to the committee. I see you quoted an amount that I am expected to contribute. I must say that I feel honored that you remember me. It has been years since the last time we spoke. I remember we used to be in the same school, and we recently befriended each other on Facebook. However, friend, I must say that this came as a surprise to me.
You see, I am unable to afford a wife myself. I have been planning to get a lady and head to the registry on a Thursday, so that most people will not be able to attend. I hear it will cost me very little money. I see that your wife is trying to keep up with the Kardashians. It is a dream wedding that she wants. If you are able to afford that, my friend, it will be a very good thing to do. But, kindly do not tie me to financial obligations when mine are choking me.
The current economic times have put a rope around everyone’s neck. I cannot afford N50,000 as contribution towards your wedding. I am willing, more than willing to be a service provider- to oversee pitching of tents, directing guests to the sitting places, showing them the little rooms, collecting gifts. I am willing to attend the committee to pray for your marriage. I am willing to attend your wedding. I am willing to do all this. Friends need friends. But friends don’t exploit friends.
I saw a facebook group you had created earlier as well- something about a goat eating party in preparation for pre-wedding.You will forgive me, because the first thing I thought was: what a money collecting idea! I could push myself and bring you a gift on your wedding day. It is a noble thing to do. However, I will not buy you a wife, help you wed her in an expensive ceremony, then stock your house. I often tell people to live within their means. I know you will thank me someday.
All I am saying is a wedding, a luxurious one in this case is not for you if you cannot afford three quarter of the money required. If I were a bad person, I would have told you not to ask me to help you marry because I am not gonna sleep with her. But see, I explained myself as politely as I could.