Only you will be able to tell if it’s time for you to start building a new relationship. But if you’re looking for signs, it won’t be in big bold letters telling you that you’re ready. It’s these signs you should be checking for.
1. YOU’VE STOPPED COMPARING PEOPLE TO YOUR EX: Playing the comparison game is a sign that you may not be completely over your ex. Whenever you’re out on a date with someone, do you notice the little things your date does that reminds you of your ex? Do you turn your ex into a yardstick with which you see how other potential partners measure up? Are you out with this person solely because they remind you of your ex?
There may be times when you can’t help but make a bit of a comparison, and that’s fine. What you should look out for, however, is when you’re always trying to pit this new person against your ex. If you still do this, or if you can’t seem to help it, then you may need some more time to let go of the past.
2. YOU GENUINELY ENJOY BEING SINGLE:Not a lot of people give themselves enough time to enjoy being single, because they let their loneliness push them into entering a new relationship immediately. But genuinely trying to enjoy being unattached can be very helpful in making you a more well-adjusted person. This is the time when you can do pretty much whatever you want to do, without answering to a significant other. You can do things alone and be secure. This allows you to foster independence, while also showing you that being single isn’t such a bad thing. Taking the time to enjoy this phase lets you focus more on the things you want, without looking to a partner for guidance.
3. YOU’RE NOT TRYING TO GET OVER YOUR LONELINESS: Lots of rebound relationships start off with at least one lonely person who’s desperate to find someone to keep their loneliness at bay. This may sometimes help with the healing process, but it often makes you depend on another person too much. Loneliness may not be a good feeling, but you shouldn’t just rush into the arms of some willing new potential partner just to get rid of it. Being lonely after a breakup is normal. You may feel like the floor has just been swept under you, as you become painfully aware of how alone you are. But being alone also has its good points, since you can get to know yourself better. And speaking of being alone…
4. YOU’RE AVAILABLE EMOTIONALLY:When you find someone you might like, you should be able to fully invest your emotions in that person. You must feel free to love because you want to, and not because you want to fill the void that your ex left. In addition, you should also be entering into a new relationship because you want to, and not because you feel that it’s the key to getting over your ex. If you do enter a new relationship before you’re ready, you may end up just rehashing your old issues and projecting them onto your new significant other. Not only does this hinder your healing process, but you may also end up hurting someone.
5. YOU BECOME GENUINELY HAPPY FOR YOUR EX: Despite what happened between you, whether it was great, okay or downright awful, you can still find it within yourself to be happy for your ex. You’re not viciously stalking them and hoping they fail at everything. Instead, you’ve learned to be passively indifferent to what your ex is up to. And once you find that they’re happy with a new significant other, you don’t feel jealous or bitter. You don’t hope it all comes crumbling down. What you do feel is a sense of calm as you hope your ex can be happy for you, too.
6. YOUR TRUST ISSUES ARE GONE: Trust issues, at least when it comes to relationships, usually occur when an ex has lied to you. It can be outright infidelity or it can be a lie about something important to you, such as finances or secrets from your ex’s past. Now, we know for a fact that when our trust in someone is broken, it can be very hard to rebuild. But another thing about trust is that issues about it can carry over to future relationships.
Wow! That’s really cool.