Do you feel like your lover is always “so busy” –– until it’s time to get busy? If so, then your lover may not be in it for much more than what you have to offer between the sheets. If you want to know if your guy is really just using you for s3x, then see if he fits the bill. The truth may hurt, but knowing that you’re with Mr. Wrong can bring you one step closer to finding Mr. Right.
He is only interested in meeting up if s3x is on the table: Guys are very clever in masking a lie as the truth when they deal with s3x, so women need to be on our toes with this. It’s normal for a guy to take you to a nice restaurant, a concert, the movies… The issue comes when every encounter takes place in an environment where he can get laid. Believe me, it’s not a coincidence — and have you ever actually hung out when you had your period? Think about it.
You don’t hear from him during normal hours: If a man only contacts you at night, you’re definitely nothing more than a hook-up. There are 24 hours in a day, and even the busiest people have an hour break at some point during the day to stop and speak to you. If you’ve answered his midnight “U up?” text before, he’ll definitely be coming back for more… and that’s about it.
If you never talk about your personal lives: If all you do is talk about hooking up or how much you want each other, then your relationship is mostly about s3x. Sure, many relationships can start off like that — you’re obsessed with each other, you’re always having s3x, you’re missing invitations to have s3x, etc but if it’s been a long time and you haven’t progressed past the s3x s3x s3x phase, then your relationship may not be deeper than that or if you are the only one disclosing all the details of your past history, relationships, etc, and he never shares real details about his past, but always phrases questions to get more information about you, then be careful he is trying to manipulate you. See how he reacts when you ask him what he’s thinking, feeling, wondering about. If he immediately backs off, then you have a problem.
Foreplay is over quickly: When a man truly likes you, respects you and sees you as a prospect for a long-term relationship, he begins to have intimate feelings for you. He moves from having s3x with you to wanting to make love to you. Foreplay can last a long time because it’s so enjoyable to hug, kiss and touch everywhere. The joy is in the journey – not the destination of an orgasm. The man who wants to s3xually use you doesn’t need much kissing or touching. His body is ready for the s3x act quickly and he’s not thinking about your satisfaction. He’s only thinking about his gratification, you are a s3xual object to him.
He always hands you everything before you leave: Did you forget your bra? Some lipstick? Your purse? A single bobby pin? If you never forget anything there, you can never have an excuse to show up when he doesn’t want you to.
If you’ve never hung out with his friends: Have you been hooking up for months, but you’ve never met a single one of his friends? Does he hang out with his friends all the time without you but never invite you out to join him? That’s because either he’s too embarrassed to bring you around, because he doesn’t want to invest that much in your relationship, or even because there may be some other girls hanging around who he wants to keep away from you.
If he never talks about a future with you: Have you been hooking up for months and haven’t ever talked about what you’re going to do even a month from the day you see your guy, let alone next year? Have you been at it for over a year but you haven’t made any moves to get more serious? If not, then he may just see you as a temporary thing and isn’t ready to be the boyfriend you want him to be.
If he rarely seems to care how you’re feeling: Have you never heard him randomly ask if you’re upset, ask how your day was, or just wonder why you had tears in your eyes? If he seems absolutely allergic to your emotions, then chances are it’s not because he’s too shy to ask or too awkward to help you deal, but it’s because, well, he just doesn’t really care that much. If he’s just into you for sex, then any of your complicated, messy feelings will be a hurdle for him and nothing more.
Go with your gut: Wake up! If you’re even contemplating this might be a possibility, you’ve got a gut feeling in there that is trying to warn you. Look around you and assess the situation for what it is. How is it making you feel? Are you happy? Are you satisfied with the relationship as it is? Can you actually have a future with this guy? Most likely not, meaning you need to start thinking about whether this relationship is worth the risk.
Guess what? There’s plenty more where he came from. Move on and locate your self-esteem; put it back where it belongs, reclaim your self-respect and keep your s3xuality, physical health, emotional sanity and sense intact.