What may work for your parents or friends may not work for you. So it’s most important that you and your future spouse are in agreement on how your relationship will work.
Below are the key areas you should think about before getting married and important questions you should answer before you take a walk down the aisle.
You and your future spouse should discuss your current debt and your future financial goals. Are you spenders or savers? What is your plan for how you will pay your monthly bills, pay down your debt and save for retirement? Are you going to combine your money or maintain separate accounts? Do you plan to check-in with each other before you buy certain things or limit how much you spend individually considering your shared expenses?
Having Children/Parenting
Do you plan to start a family, and if so, are you in agreement about how many children you want to have? Do you agree on how to properly “parent” your children? When you start a family, will one of you stay home to raise the children or will you have child-care?
Household Responsibilities
Are you and your future spouse in agreement on who will handle household responsibilities like paying and managing the different bills that are required to run a home smoothly?
Sex and Intimacy
Do you and your future spouse have similar sexual and intimate needs? If not, are you prepared to compromise and meet in the middle? How often do you hope to be intimate and are you interested in the same kinds of sexual experiences?
In addition to having sex, what other ways are you planning to be intimate? Are you both comfortable with each other’s physical appearance and aware that your appearance will change over the years?
Religion/Spirituality
Do you and your future spouse share the same religious beliefs? Do you expect your spouse to attend religious services with you? How would you help each other to teach your children the right religious beliefs and have them practice?
Friends and Family
Do your family and friends support your future marriage? If not, how do you and your spouse plan on managing your relationships with the people who don’t agree with your union? Are the two of you in agreement on whether you can have friends of the opposite sex or how often you should go out and spend time with your friends?
Are you willing to change the nature of your relationship with others in order to preserve your marriage?
Life Goals/Vision
Are the two of you on the same page regarding future plans? What are your individual career goals and do they support your vision as a couple? Do you know whether your partner is more career-oriented or family-oriented?