I have always considered myself a liberal — a live-and-let-live sort of person who believes in the idea of human freedom and the pursuit of happiness. But recently, my long held principle was put to a rude test. The sight of openly gay Nigerian partners who made an open display of their sexual orientation at a party in Lagos threw me momentarily off-balance. My first reaction was disbelief, then incredulity. I stood still for a moment watching the unfolding scene like a Nollywood movie. Even in Nollywood, such a scene is a rarity. But there it was, playing out before my very eyes.
I looked round to observe the reaction of the watching crowd. They, of course, kept straight faces. But you could see in their demeanours how perplexed they were. Do not blame me. My reaction was not borne out of any homophobic animosity towards the same sex partners. It was shock mixed with fear because the last time I checked, same sex relationship is a crime in Nigeria-people have even been reportedly lynched on “sodomy” allegations. In a country where homophobic sentiments backed by legislation place a taboo on gay rights, the sight of an open display of affection by same-sex partners was indeed brave. Many thoughts ran through my mind. Was this a symbolic show of defiance by a group tired of life in the closet? Is the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender community in Nigeria confronting its fears even at the risk of being jailed? Is a gay pride march imminent?
Given the widespread public hatred that dominated discourse about gay rights in the country awhile ago, I have found it really implausible to see same-sex partners defy institutionalised harassment and social stigma attached to same-sex relationship. The Police, for example, have serially arrested people on the mere suspicion of being in a same-sex relationship. They are capitalising on the law to extort “victims” who are never prosecuted. This has been happening in different parts of the country. You can then imagine the shock I felt when I encountered the couple. Is the perception changing? On this evening, they both sat close together holding hands and cuddling. They were eager to show the world that they were in love.
While the Lagos encounter was my first real contact in any part of Nigeria a year after the controversial law banning same-sex relationship, I have seen enough in the last few years to make me believe that many more Nigerians are in closet same sex relationship. I have also seen enough in the last few months to believe that perhaps same-sex relationship may yet come to be accepted as inevitable. This, of course, is debatable. A few years ago, during my first trip to Europe, I was thrown right in the middle of a world where same-sex relationship has been long legalised. In Europe, I had seen how gay couples make out in the open-in the full glare of everyone.
It was as normal as any heterosexual relationship. I was completely blown over. Here was I from Africa where a man with feminine characteristics is greeted with derision. Throughout my stay, I realised that gays, lesbians and transgenders were as accepted as others. At train stations, couples of different orientations would arrive to bid their loved ones goodbye. It was a normal sight. But for a first time visitor especially those from Africa, the talk is always “Ah, this is an abomination” or “Oyinbo people don spoil”. At cafes, cinemas and other public spaces, gays and lesbians mix freely. For me, it was a complete culture shock as I could not comprehend nor get over it for a long time. I found that sexual differences are treated as equal rights long before they even became the subject of public discourse here. I must say that while I found the European acceptance and tolerance towards gays as shocking, I soon got used to seeing gay couples. Once inside a train, I sat next to two ladies whose closeness suggested their amorous relationship. I just looked away. Now, witnessing this in 2014 Lagos presented a different scenario entirely — even in the face of the same-sex law. Apart from the law, homophobia sentiments are prevalent here. They are considered “unAfrican” to engage in love relationship with people of the same sex. But some have also argued that the practice had long existed in Africa.
Same-sex affection like the one I witnessed has been criminalised by the Nigerian government. Gay rights activists have condemned the law. But it is much worse in countries like Uganda where a lifetime in jail awaits offenders. You can then imagine my surprise the male couple expressed themselves so brazenly. Was it the environment? In recent years, I have seen a subtle push by same-sex couples to get out of the closet. At a bar in Victoria Island, Lagos recently, two guys cuddled affectionately. They were ignored by others. At Lagos beaches, the sight of same-sex partners as they engage amorously is now a common sight. Was my encounter a sign of tolerance or just an isolated case? Are Nigerians moving towards the acceptance of the inevitability of same sex relationship in spite of the law banning it?
While opinions are still divided about the morality of same-sex relationship, opposition to the sexual differences is however not limited to Africa. While some governments on the continent have taken steps to outlaw it outright, public reactions to the homosexual relationship remain hostile — even violent. In January, Bauchi State witnessed the arrest of 12 gay men. Reports had it that the men were arrested in various locations in the state. Across the country, suspicion of being a gay or lesbian has led to persecution — even lynching. For same-sex partners, Nigeria is obviously the last place to break out of the closet. That was why I was surprised to encounter what many Nigerians will consider an abomination. Even as people struggle not to notice, the shock in their eyes was palpable.
But that was to be expected. Even in Europe and the United States, there are many who are still opposed to same-sex relationship. During gay pride marches, police are ever present to stop clashes between ultra-conservatives who are often violent towards the parade and gay pride marchers. But with what I have seen in recent months, one wonders if a gay pride march is not imminent in Nigeria someday. Will Nigeria’s LGBT community confront the restriction and fight for its right to associate even at the risk of prison term? Will it someday confront the sexual discrimination that has perpetually kept its members in the closet?
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